You might be wondering what exactly “The Asshole Light” could be. Well let me explain.
See that light next to the Christmas tree? That is an asshole light. So you’re probably thinking it’s a bit awkward looking with the switch right below it, but why do I call it the asshole light? Well there is some history behind that light.
How the Asshole Light Came to Be
So way back in my 20’s, me and my now Ex-husband installed a gas furnace and no longer needed the wall furnace that had previously heated our house. My now Ex kept yammering on about how a wall sconce would look really cool on that now empty wall. I kept pointing out that it wasn’t centered in the wall, it would look stupid and I didn’t want a ducking wall sconce there.
Except one day I come home from my mother’s, toddler on hip and there is a goddamn outdoor coach light installed on the wall. In my living room. A cheap black plastic coach light!
I raised holy hell over that light but my Ex being the jackass he was, ignored me and the mockery of his friends. I never could get him to remove it but I did at least get him to replace it with a light meant for indoors before he became the ex.
Cue forward a few years…
The husband has become the Ex, I’m still living in the same house. So I’m doing some renovations (new roof, getting rid of the skylight that leaked, etc.). My Dad is helping with the electrical and rather than just stubbornly refusing to do something like my Ex would, my Dad explains stuff.
So my Dad patiently explains to me that I can’t get rid of the asshole light because the power feeding several plugs goes through that light and there isn’t enough wire to get rid of it without losing the plugs or adding an exposed junction box somewhere.
Fine.
I buy yet another light fixture but the light is still off-center in the wall with the switch right below it and it still looks stupid. It is a constant irritant because it’s something my Ex did and it’s right there mocking me every day.
The Light Bulb Moment…
Last summer I learned how to wire plugs and I’ll be honest, went a little mad with this new power. In total I added 5 new plugs in places that had always been lacking. This is why you see so much missing drywall in the pictures I’ve shared in previous posts like here and here. But one place that I really wanted a plug was in my closet.
It might seem odd to want a plug in the closet but my house is less than 1,000 sq ft. In a house that small, a 4′ x 8′ closet is a significant space and not having a plug in there limits what I can use the space for. But even when it’s just a closet, having a plug means various battery chargers have a spot to live in.
What does a closet plug have to do with the asshole light?
Well you see, the closet is on the other side of the wall the asshole light lived on. So what if I kill two birds with one stone?
What if I take the wiring from the asshole light and turn it into a plug in the closet! So I did.
And now instead of having a really stupid looking wall light, I have this and new plug number 6 in my closet. It only took 25 years or so, but the asshole light is finally just a memory.
